I think I'm turning veganese

So it is fitting today is Martin Luther King Jr. day.  Today I embarked on the first day of my new lifestyle, a change for the better that even Martin Luther King Jr. would approve of.  I've decided after much consideration to become a vegan.  I'm not going to lie to you, my stats are bad....real bad.  After enjoying a wonderful metabolism that allowed me to eat anything I wanted and still stayed approximately 115 lbs. (yes, I'd hate me now), it ended abruptly in my 20's.  I, of course, did nothing to help myself as I was used to eating bad and eating a lot and no kind of excercise.  I saw it happening, but I had that desperate need to believe if I ignored the weight gain, it would just go away!  Thus commenced years of self denial that made me totally vulnerable when I ran into problems conceiving a child with my husband.  Enter all the lovely drugs that, well, make us miserable and irritable and HUNGRY!!  Now we can take it further by adding one miscarriage and a late term stillbirth (31 weeks gestation).  Eight months after that I became pregnant with my oldest son, Logan, and followed with two more boys all under 2 years apart, Owen and Carter.  In between all the babies, I would try various weight loss measures.  I've tried them all (no, really).  Some would work a while but usually the weight would come back and then some.  Which brings us to now, I weigh 266lbs.  Exactly.  I know 'cause I weighed myself at the Dr.'s office today when I took my son in.  I've actually been more, so this really didn't surprise me.  The fact is about 3 months ago, I had a thought pop into my head about becoming vegan.  I ignored it of course because I love meat.  I also have never really enjoyed vegetables the way others do.  Then I was on FaceBook and a highschool classmate "friended" me.  It turns out she is vegan and an author of the book: "Radiant Health, Inner Wealth".  That's quite a coincedence since I've been walking around thinking I need to change my life.  I'm tired of not feeling healthy.  I feel toxic inside like everything I eat is making me miserable.  So, I still ignored the voice but would read all "Tess's" posts (Quintessence Challis is her full name).  And frankly, she irritated me.  There she was so positive and healthy talking about all the healthy things her and her daughter eats, while I'm stuggling with my children to eat one pea.  I even debated hiding her from my feed so I didn't have to be reminded of my failure.  I didn't hide her and 2 months went by with me sulkily reading her posts and me feeling more, and more like I should try the vegan diet.  To top it off, other old classmates bought her book and were trying it too.  Finally, I couldn't denie it anymore.  I need a change and I was being silly to ignore such an opportunity that was staring me right in the face.  I bought her book and after reading it, I knew it was the right choice.  I'm not saying this will be easy, I love meat and I love all the bad foods still.  I just don't love how I feel and that's what I've got to hang on to.  So today I had no animal products for the first time in probably a very long time.  I wasn't perfect (I ordered fries from McDonald's when I stopped there on the way home from the Dr.) but I didn't eat meat or drink pop.  Which is why I probably have a headache from drinking no pop with caffeine.  It's going to be a long road of detox I'm afraid.  Next week, I'm joining with others to do a 2 week program Tess created.  She will use our stories in her next book she is writing.  I only hope I don't let her OR myself down.  I feel positive though and I have you all to help me by listening to my journey. Good night all of you, I will dream of your meat filled dinners tonight! =)

Danielle